Fifty

First, We all have hard times. We all have our own trials that we have to live with. But the above picture is what I want to remember today. How sweet my boys are. Audriana had found a marker, which I try not to have any markers down at all so if she does someone left it out and she snatches it up and goes right for the wall. The boys decided to get some wipes out and start cleaning one of her drawings. Sweet boys! Of course I gave them a sponge and let them go at it!

I hate sharing pictures of me. I hate taking pictures of me. I am behind the camera. But I have been marking my personal weight loss and today since having Audriana I have officially hit 50 lbs weight loss, actually I am 2 lbs under what I got married even though my body is not the same at all, thank you children. Yes I hate that I had 50 lbs to lose and I wouldn't complain if I even lost 60, but after 3 kids I came to terms that I gained way too much during those pregnancies and when I found out I had thyriod disease 2 years ago too. I also never thought I would be the one that was overweight and I was so ready for a change. I am not sharing because I want to brag at all. I just want to maybe motivate those that are trying as well because I know so many who are trying.

I didn't start until May 2009. When we went on our cruise and I was so unhappy with my weight and then and even now I am so embarrassed with my pictures I had taken. I hate how I looked in a swimming suit. I gained 10 lbs on the cruise just by eating.

When we got back I changed my whole diet. I cut out sugar except for diet soda which I needed and still need for my migranes. Not all sugar, I just didn't eat mounds of it a day and I saw the pounds come off. Changing my eating habits has drastically lowered my weight, but just cutting out sugar wasn't enough. Last Spring I decided to start counting calories. I don't do it anymore, but I have a very good idea what goes into my body.

I debated whether to put this. I don't like when people think I complain about my illness, but it controls my life, it's something that I think about every second of the day because I have a constant migrane and it goes up or down on pain level. I am not complaining it's stating facts and I don't want people to think that just changing what I ate lost all my weight. I lose weight more on my bad days. I've thrown up, been so nauseous I can't eat a thing and in bed a lot. However I think I could lose so much more weight if I had not had to quite running and exercising because it escalated my illness and landed me more in bed. I am all for exercise no matter how much I hate it and I know it wouldn't have taken me a year and a half to loose so much if I could just run again on that treadmill waiting for me in the basement. At least Phil gets to use it.

(November 2009)

(July 2010)

It's very slow now. Even now I was at the same weight for a month. Then all of a sudden I dropped 4 lbs in 4 days. So don't give up. It's just part of the process! Change it up a bit. So even though I posted those embarrassing fat pictures I will be keeping off the 50 lbs. I also don't crave sugar as much anymore. I never thought that would go away and I get a little sick if I eat too much of it or fried food because my body is not used to it.

It's amazing how much happier I am that I feel more confident in my body. I still feel like I want to lose more weight and I don't even know if that feeling ever goes away for a girl, but I couldn't have Audriana grow up and I feel like I was so negative about my weight and all that energy effect her.