Dear Children

Dear Children,

We love you dearly, we wouldn't trade you for anything, but....

Jordan,

No popcorn is not breakfast food, neither is ice cream or mac and cheese.

If you continue to eat mac and cheese every day you may turn into a noodle.

I know you love having Peyton as a brother to play with, but he is also not your little pet that wants to do everything you are doing. Let him choose what he wants to do instead of trying to drag him with you all the time.

I can't just make a show appear on TV because YOU want to watch it. If only it worked that way, sorry the DVR is only downstairs and I am not going to go through and record shows to guess what you want to watch.

When I say keep the train tracks in your room I don't mean let them into the hall or my room, my feet hurt from stepping on them.

No it really isn't nice to burp in people's faces even if you do say excuse me.

Pretty sure I don't want to smell your stinky feet, thanks for asking.

Telling me that it is for my birthday suprise is not going to get you out of being in trouble of making a mess... nice try though.

Peyton,

Not everything is a ball, especially food so stop throwing it everywhere.

You have great rhythm and aspire to be a drummer, but it doesn't mean you get to bang everything against the furniture.

Leave things in the drawers.

Nothing that you can think of that you do right now gets to go in the toilet. This includes and not limited to pens, toys, and mommy's brush. Also hands should never be in there unless somehow you want to clean it.

Stand up to Jordan, why not have you both crying when you get into fights instead of just you. While we are at it you probably wouldn't get so mad at him if you just did what he wanted, you are going to follow him in the end anyway let's just do it now instead of the screaming fits.

Remember your first stitches and how really not fun they were. Don't climb on everything if you don't want more.

Audriana,

You may be the cutest little girl ever, but throwing up all over really isn't helping your image. Plus we are going to go broke just buying spray and wash for you.

You could also go a few hours of not needing a drastic diaper change instead of every few minutes, that would make my day.

Sleeping through the night would be a great trait to learn.

You could eat a whole bottle without falling asleep then you probably would have a better nap.