2 Men & A Little Lady

Phil's softball game September 12, 2007

COTTONWOOD , UT – This week Notre Dame and Michigan will face off and one of them will have to win, so it was when Air Cold (0-3) faced Double Play (0-3) in softball action here Wednesday. The ½ Air Cold team rode the homeruns of the ringers, including the walk-off homerun by Jason “I hope the Yankees are watching” Hickman, to a 20-19 victory. Don’t worry, Rich Turnbow didn’t improve to 1-3, he played in the outfield since it was the only game this year that will not be played under the lights. (old people have a hard time seeing in the dark) Veral “Stare down and pierce like a” Thorn goes to 1-0. ½ Air Cold improves to 1-0 while Air Cold stays at 0-3. We will just have to rely on Utah and Utah State to continue the losing streaks, although they will also play each other and one will have to win in a few weeks.

The highlight of the night was obviously the walk-off homerun by Hickman. Jeff “I shouldn’t have slid into third” Burgener broke his perfect 0.000 batting average by getting a hit in the game, he drowned his sorrow in many, many beers afterward. His hangover is still going on today. One guy who wished he had been drunk was Jeff “you stupid blind (edited for content) that was inside” Lewis struck out swinging. In the interest of full disclosure, both he and Turnbow did have some great catches in the outfield. Turnbow and Phil “why are they saying no speed on the base to me” Garner also struck out by hitting too many foul balls in an effort to keep the fans involved in the game. Kevin “if Phil was Yao Ming he would have caught it” tried to make things interesting at third base but did hit in the tying run in the next to last inning at 17-17. After Thorn allowed a two run homerun, including an intentional walk to the idiot who thought he was Barry Bonds (his head was the same size), Garner got the last out of the inning with a great eyes-closed grab of a screaming ground ball. After recording two outs, ½ ACS got two aboard thanks to an intentional walk of Thorn in revenge of the previous inning, yes, they intentionally walked the tying run. Then Hickman came in and finished the game with one swing of the bat.

Notably absent from the game, hence the ½, were the other members of Air Cold. Kyle “the bat is still winning” and James “I used to be young” Burns were still on the IR. Sean “mushroom” Callahan was busy working on a science project. He’s working on developing a new fungus that can be used in medicines by growing it in a cool dark place where no one would ever want to go. Most likely it will just develop into the next plague. Richard “don’t worry, we’ll sell it” Saltmarsh and Warren “we’ll never sell it” Fowlks bowed out at the last minute, figuring they were just in for another beating. Instead they headed to town to um, enjoy some “meat”. “I did it for the good of the team” said Saltmarsh. Both are expected to find an excuse to miss next week’s game as well. In fact, after working late Monday and Tuesday in order to remove all the inventory so that they can clean the warehouse floors, everyone might want to miss the game.

Next up is another 9:30 pajama game as ACS takes on the 30 year old Phenoms. Can they really be called phenoms at the age of 30? Wouldn’t it be more like, adults who have ADD? Anyway, IHC has graciously offered free ambulance service to the members of the team following the game. This weeks beer will be given by I.V. and a Young Men’s/ Young Women’s organization has offered to push the ACS members around the bases in wheelchairs if needed.